I'm still a little too tired to write a complete travelogue (although
a certain proportion of my tiredness must be attributed to painting
walls and sitting in dusty basements in Lisson Grove seeing how much
vodka I could drink from a plastic cup before someone played the Fugees)
Juliet and I managed to come to an agreement with British Rail, whereby
we paid them a reasonable amount of cash and they gave us free coffee and
a trip to Sheffield.
This we then took, and precisely 1.1 novels later we arrived at the only
station on the stretch of line that didn't have a victorian factory
with broken windows for sale immediately outside.
The first order of the day was shopping. So we stood almost in the rain
with Dishmop (who'd been there for an hour) and Jane (who hadn't) until
a little gold car pulled up. This was part of the new Sheffield public
transport system which had got stuck on the motorway en route from
Nottingham. The driver was a young lady with welding goggles - she took
us to the shops.
We shopped. It was a bit like Christmas - but that doesn't start until
the day *after* Halloween, so in another way it wasn't. We went to lots
of shops and looked at stuff. As I said many years ago, the meaning of
life is "the acquisition of stuff"[1], but I didn't have any magic beans
so I bought some extra strong buzz gum and I think that was it.
After shopping we went to get ready. As everyone knows, the first step
in getting ready is to get something to drink. We did.
Step 2, order pizza
Step 3, work out what to wear....
Some hours later we borded a bus to SHU. I was having problems standing
at this point, but no one noticed and must have put my inability to
construct a sentence or to walk properly down to a combination of
too much hairspray inhaled, and/or me always being like that.
Things began to speed up. I remember someone buying me a bloody mary,
And then someone else bought me an anaconda (Me i think it was), and then
another vodka and vodka. And then the sake that I'd had before we left the
house decided to let my brain know that I was very drunk.
It was decision time. Option 1 drink until I pass out. I went for option
2 and timed it spot on so I was sober 7 minutes before bed time.
I had lots of conversations with various people - many of them from this
planet. And I even remember most of them.
The bands were somewhat splendid, and I have a damn fine set of bruises
fading at the moment to prove I was there. The music, apart from the
longwinded explanation of why Pop Will Eat Itself would not be played
that night, was lovely, and the only thing more expensive than London
was the soda water (which was infinitely and variably more expensive).
Finally, a brief list of 'things'
Thanks for one an all for what would have been an even more memorable
evening if I was able to remember it!
Finally, a brief list of 'things'
- 1. I thought you'd be taller
- 2. "Last year it was no going topless, this year it's no going on top" - SHU security
- 3. Whose camera is this?
- 4. We're brining about 700 people down on a coach - can you sign us in
- 5. I'm only having half a cider - last time I went around stealing everyone else's drinks
- 6. Some casual student just tried to start a fight with me, but he went away when I said there were 150 of my mates standing behind him [That was no casual, that was the guitarist from Stun....]
- 7. I went to find the dressing room, but all that I found was a toilet.
- 8. Do you want to start a pit? then follow me....
- 9. That's the smallest following I've ever seen - we outnumber them!
- 10. I don't know what to wear!
- 11. The dental archeological pathologist on the logistics of tooth piercing
- 12. 'Sex' and 'Bat'
- 13. Playing taxi leapfrog
- 14. No hangover for me!
Thanks for one an all for what would have been an even more memorable
evening if I was able to remember it!
[1] TM etc.
JULIET'S BOOK CORNER
Once again we find that Juliet, despite her ability to read an entire novel in the time it takes for a kettle
to boil, hasn't written anything new for the book corner.
I have finished reading "Bad Wisdom" by Bill Drummond and Mark Manning which did not quite live up to expectations,
Zodiac's neo-fascist fantasies crossed with his fascination with all things scatalogical detracted somewhat
from the otherwise highly amusing travelogue. Read it anyway!
