1. so, what does it take to be a perkygoff?
or, optionally, one might simply be a self-deterministic and obnoxiously happy little git, dressing all in black and all that rubbish and generally presenting oneself as a complete paradox when encountering traditional goth stereotypes of gloom and morbidity. its been done.
2. who are some famous historical perkygoffs?
people who *werent* perkygoffs might include: ghengis khan, lady bird johnson, *all* the archbishops of canterbury, and at least one of the marx brothers (not karl)
3. what do perkygoffs eat?
4. are they dangerous? will they harm my small children?
5. if a perkygoff falls in the woods, and no-one is around, does it make a sound?
6. what makes perkygoffs tick?
7. do they like artic climates?
8. is there any sort of definitive identification marking or technique to be used?
9. is it contagious?
10. what does the pope think?
i hope this brief message has cleared up some of your conceptions, and expanded upon some of your misconceptions. if you have questions, please do not hesitate to make up answers for them.
this message has been brought to you by your local perkygoff, and is an utter waste of bandwidth.
lurve and eggplant,
-joel
lots of sugar.
most prominently, salvador dali, though he didnt know it at the time. in fact, most surreallists were perkygoffs. they wont admit it, but its true. we have the films. no, you cant see them. DUH.
bread. fruit. all varieties, in massive quantities. known to partake of the "bike messengers breakfast" (espresso shot and a stout), but only in highly secretive and ritualistic ceremonies, to which even other perkygoffs are denied admittance (unless they come in anyways). actually, pretty much known to consume everything in sight.
only dangerous when angered, or when interfered with while dancing (quote gina@stanford "OW. OW. OW." repeat for 3 weeks, hopping on one foot while holding bruised and sprained other foot). the presence of small children is actually sometimes welcomed by perkygoffs, though this acceptance may change at any given moment, as may anything else, for that matter.
yes. a sound rather like "nirmph!". it makes this sound whether or not youre around to hear it, actually. this has never been proven to be true.
clocks. a la the crocodile in "peter pan".
only if kept outside. (the climates, that is)
most perkygoffs can do cartwheels. while this in and of itself may not be a dead giveaway (as they do not perform them constantly), asking a perkygoff to perform a cartwheel will, 9 times out of 10, result in said performance. also be aware of a general disregard for the appearrance of their makeup, and lack of curiousity concerning vampires.
it is not yet known. if you truly wish to avoid all possibility of contamination and totally minimize your risks, please stay indoors and mope, and nothing to anyone about the grapefruit.
one of us! one of us!